I did not know cancer
The mystery
More than my 6 year old mind
Could grasp
Just that my playmate
My cousin
Was in a little white coffin
In the middle
Of the living room
Of her house
My mother
Held my hand
As I saw Mary last
Her little white dress
Her hair in pigtails
Her eyes closed tight
But I knew
She was not sleeping
The low moan
Of her mother
The streaming tears
Of her father
As we sat
In a semi-circle
During the funeral
I heard the preacher
Speak of heaven
A place
Where Mary was
A place as alien
As death to me
Mary was gone
And I
Did not understand

It is not sanitary
The endless loop of memory
The engine running
In the garage
He slumped over the wheel
The exhaust choking
The gray hanging
Like a veil
Between life and death
She killed the engine
Opening the garage
Calling his name
Slapping his face
Her voice husky
The gas burning her throat
Placing her finger
On his neck
Vainly seeking a pulse
Dragging him to the garage floor
Screaming for help
Compressing his chest
Imploring him to come back
To give us
Another chance
Gone, cold, lost
His reason a mystery
No note
No hint of hurt
How she turns it
The twist
She cannot straighten
No answer
The road so long
The few year remaining
As she travels alone

He walks the stage
Each move; each gesture
Practiced for effect
He holds the microphone
Like a lover
Raising his voice
Then lowering it
Caressing the crowd
With promises
God will return your gift
Tenfold
He will give you health
Bless your family
Only believe
Countless sinners
Await the message
An organ plays softly
With tears
Running the course
Of his face
The accomplice awaits
If generous souls
Do not thwart the devil
The final pitch
Leaving reminders
In the hearts
Of the poor
So many envelopes
One dollar, five dollars
Sacrifices
His prayer partners
Can ill afford
How they add up
Dollars become millions
Fuel for his private jet
A paved road
To his mansion
What a privilege
To serve the Lord