autumn poems

I’m sitting alone in this damp street
No one but me and the moonbeams
Stars are shyly showing off their dazzling charm
The wind is passionately touching the tree’s silhouette
I’m silently watching them dancing to my mute melancholy
My volcano is strangely so wise tonight
My earthquake is finally constant
My tsunami is completely dry
No damaged fantasy
No query for a smashed memory
October’s moon is so plump
No more you within its sheen
I know, it’s a temporary truce
Between hate and love
I know I’ll crave you by noon
Yes I’m in the loop
But at this point, I’m over my love disaster
I’m missing you right now but I don’t lust for you
Obviously I’m thinking about you
But at this moment I don’t wanna behold you
You who carelessly watched me making out with sadness
And proudly locked me in the cage of loneliness
You who promised to keep me warm inside your chest
You who ghosted me with a cheap finesse
Instead of painting the vibrant amber, yellows, and reds of our 4th autumn
I’m writing the end of our finis chapter
Darling, I’m not hating you
But I’m not forgiving myself for loving you
For sending all my starry prayers only to you
For forgetting myself just to remember you
For sucking your anxiety just to hearten you
For dating the night just to meet you
For faking my satisfaction just to delight you
For believing the masquerade written by you
For cutting off what I needed and gave it to you
But I was invisible in your cold fortress
Where I thought I’d loose it with the flame of my romance
I was thrown away in your wizened forest
Where I believed I was your red tulips
In the end, I was your first falls leaf that fell from your sick tree
And set it free with a grip of an icy wind
Tonight, I’m lost on this wet sidewalk
Somewhere out of your zone
Aloof place where my broken heart was buried
I remember, you were my Bethlehem’s star
Everything was ridden by your shade
And I was a fool for believing that I was your sun
Sure, Love was never happy by my side
I lied to myself and now I’m paying off the debt
Tonight I’m stripping off my soul from its last ill hope
Tonight I’m on my knees apologizing to these sparkly creatures
For absorbing their spiritual energy
In order to protect who left me murdered
By the ghost of him
Who’s still dwelling within me
Tonight I’m dimming between these moving clouds
Losing myself to this wistful breeze
Weaving my torn spirit with hued autumnal notes
Before waking up from this dream
And back to beg my heart to stop begging you
Tomorrow I’ll fall again, break down again, and get rejected again
But tonight I’m giving up on my life
This life called ‘YOU’…

More at https://pygswhisper77.wixsite.com/pygswhisperofficial/one-autumn-night.