stream of consciousness poems Archives

Beginnings | Rebecca Nunns

August 8, 2023 / Poetry Website / contemporary poets, introspection poems, meaning of life poems, modern poets, stream of consciousness poems / Leave a Comment

The day I realised that I’m just like everyone else. Clarity.
I spent all my time thinking that I was different, unusual. [Apparently] I thought differently to everyone else. [I] Wanted, needed different things. Craved isolation. Solitude. Peace. Contentment. Simplicity overall. Fought the pre-programmed urges [resistance]. Rose above it all. Years of fighting. Fighting emotion. Hiding emotion. Addicted to becoming addicted. Filling emptiness, hopelessness, loneliness with the insignificancies that made me feel different. That make everyone different. In exactly the same way.
Every moment planned and thought out extensively. [Always] Knowing what would become reality and what would become despair. Though, most of the time, both. [Yeah] Everyone’s unique. Unique in whom and what they conform to. There are no loners. Even they belong. I must belong. Accept. Out of my head. Out of my mind maybe. There is no such thing as unique when it comes to humanity. I need to learn to enjoy my own company. I am capable of anything. If anything is not extraordinary, am I capable of nothing. [What is my] Potential? Potential to gain happiness. [Or] Normality. Is it wrong to strive for simplicity [?]. Why hide from and push away dreams? No matter how small [they are dreams] we grow up being told to reach for the stars. What if you [I] don’t want stars? [Primeval] Basic urges. Desires. A longing. Pushing away instinct. Neglecting my own ambition. Knowing I will never have what will make me happy makes me happy. Protecting myself. Unreachable [dreams]. Fooling myself. [Then] Becoming a fool. Separating fantasy from reality becomes impossible. Fantasy is all I have. For now.
The present. Feeling as if this could be the beginning. Knowing what could become. Reachable. Endless thoughts. Leading to the unknown. Bottomless. Futile. Should you know? Fate. Destiny. The end. Meaningless. Hollow. Inconsequential. Hope? You don’t trust yourself. Maybe fate and destiny are what you need. Your own hands haven’t gotten you anywhere closer thus far. Trust. But why now? It’s been too many years. Belief. The key. An answer. Decisions. Choices. Signs. You are the direction. Realisation. Clarity. Subconscious levels. You progress yourself. Maintain and develop. If shown the way, would you follow? To reach the vision? Utopia. Where does it end? When does it end? Do we ever get the explanation we want. Will we ever [?] Do we need it to continue[?] Validation. Purpose. Nature.

Risk | Daniel Dror

You should risk everything. It’s worth it. No matter how bad it gets. Trust me.  Not every day. Not even most days. Just those days when you really think it’s worth it. When it’s serious. When you could gain so much.  Me. Mine. Most. Most things. Most of all. Trust. In the divine. Gamble.  Gamble on hope. Hope is human. You are born of hope.  I’m writing this and I don’t really want to explain all the uncertainty in my future. How things have changed in the last six months and how drastically that could change again and will change regardless of a good or bad turn out and the terms of a good or bad result and what even my life is going to be after all the dust settles after the fall out of a hundred megaton blast. And how even does a freight train hit you in the face at nine o’clock in the centre of a department store and forget your name and then it’s not a big deal and then the stove needs cleaning but it’s not your stove and you are playing risk and your name is changed and it starts with a capital L and your hair is red and a saint you ain’t and the girl you make friends with is starting to act differently and she’s got a hell of a crush on you like that one person in school who made you nervous to go anywhere alone because of the stories that people tell but when you grow up it’s just a movie and that movie is a rip-off of some other movie and the production is pretty bad but the acting is kind of amazing and they win awards but their careers go nowhere just a guest star on NCIS and…  trust me.  It was worth every moment that was stolen. You would’ve wasted it anyway. It was worth every penny spent, you wouldn’t have the opportunity you have now that you took the risk.  It was worth the brain damage. You see the world in a new light.  Not every day.  Just those days.  When you think.  That it’s worth it.
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