The Armchair Adventurer | Denise D’Souza

I grab my coat and leave the house. My cat comes after me.
In the woods we meet a wizard with a crooked knee.
The wizard takes us to a tree where sits an old screech owl,
who sends on our mission. In the night the werewolves howl.
We start an epic journey searching for a magic ring,
Hidden by a dragon, to return it to the king.

We travel with the wizard for hundred years or more.
While sailing round Cape Horn we meet a mighty man o’ war.
We battle with a pirate gang and, captured by the crew,
They take us to an island ruled by a wise guru.
He wears a flowing scarlet robe and eats nothing but rice.
In honour of our visit, he serves pink champagne on ice.

The guru loves our exploits but he disbelieves our tale.
Accusing us of being spies, he has us thrown in jail.
We have no time to wonder how we got in such a fix,
Before we’re rescued by an agent sent by MI6.
By private jet we’re taken up to London in great state.
Just in time to dine with the PM, promptly at eight.

Barred entry to the Ritz because we’re not in evening dress,
We grab a cab and leave, on board the Orient Express.
Cat revels in the luxury, while I’m taxing my brain
With working out the mystery of the body on the train.
Just when I think I’ve cracked the case and know who murdered who,
My suspect has an alibi turn up out of the blue!

I’m safe home from my travels with my cat sat at my feet.
Curled round my owl-shaped cushion in my favourite seat,
I wake as from a dream. All my adventuring is done.
But family and friends have hardly noticed I’ve been gone.
I blink and wonder blearily what news I might have missed,
Then dive into the next book waiting on my ‘to read’ list.