I hid
In the shadow
Of my blemished youth
Unable
To determine
What I should be
What would
Get me the acceptance
I so longed for
Bending with the wind
In order
To find my way
In the flood
Of adolescence
Seeking to defy radar
Be a ghost
That came and went
With whatever fad
It was miserable
Twisting myself
In a suit
Too small
Or one
That swallowed me
Trying to not split
The seams
Trying to hold
Up to an image
Too big
For the boy
I found myself
To be
Conscious always
That pretense could fall
And others
Would see
Who I rejected
But did not know
Maybe even now
He remains a mystery
A riddle
That has no solution
