Some of my nights
I shiver with fever
I get sweaty and my throat is dry
My weak heart beats faster and faster.
I get up in between, interrupting my sleep
which you will see on my face the next morning,
I measure the heat on my forehead
Which reminds me of the heat of my childhood,
My mother’s heat
As I hug her tight on the nights when I have nightmares and get
scared
She shouts, “Don’t make me scared”.
For many years, I had this dream of four people coming to kill me, I shout “Four people”, “Four people”
“Save me, help me”.
When I accompany her at midnight to the toilet,
As she is scared more than me to go out,
Sometimes I have noticed
She also gets scared
though she doesn’t say it or show it
which I sense from the speed at which she walks
And how she doesn’t look around and only looks ahead
until we reach the toilet.
I wait outside alone and she is inside alone
Two scared souls listening to each other’s heartbeats and
breathing and ensuring both are there for each other.
Suddenly, a leaf from a coconut tree falls
and we both get scared and hug and console each other
and we go back.
Some of my nights
my body shivers with fever,
She visits in my mind.
